Feminine for a Purpose

How can I embrace my femininity in a Godly manner?  This is a question I have been wondering for awhile.  When I say "embrace my femininity" please don't misunderstand me.  I believe that there is a strong difference between embracing our femininity in a Godly manner and feminism.  To be clear and honest, I disagree with feminism.  I believe God created us as women to fulfill a role that is different from men.  Men and women are of equal value and worth in God's eyes, but we are made to carry out different roles and responsibilities in life. 

I was reading today in The Resolution for Women.  The current resolution is talking about how we are made authentically.  God did not just create us on a whim.  He thoughtfully considered how we would be made.  He purposefully planned for us to be women.  It's not an accident.  He purposefully planned for women to be the image of beauty.  Let us all be reminded though, that beauty comes from the inside, not the outside.   "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting..."  Proverbs 31:30a

The first great way to embrace femininity in a Godly manner is to invest in the lives of others.  As women, we are very relational.  We love having our friends and jumping into deep and meaningful conversations.  Most men like to joke that women are willing and able to tell their entire life stories whenever they get the chance!  Yes!  That's more of the truth than a joke!  It is part of our relational abilities.  We should always be willing to invest in the lives of others through conversation and listening skills.  One good conversation can honestly change a life.  However, during our conversations we must take heed and avoid gossip at all times.  Proverbs 16:28 says, "A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends."  Let's make sure we use our relational abilities in a Christ-like manner.

This next thought to consider came from my reading today.  We, as women, should compliment each other.  Compliments mean nothing if they are fake; but if they are genuine...the possibilities are endless.  Speaking from personal experience, when someone says they like my hair or my outfit or my shoes, my entire view on the day can change.  I always feel a little more confident after a compliment.  Finding genuine ways to compliment one another can also eliminate the "threat" of competition that some women feel.  It breaks down the barriers and opens doors for those meaningful conversations.

I have a personal story that I would like to share with you.  It will probably seem pretty shallow of me, but no judgments here!  My freshman year of college I met this girl who was not beautiful to me at all.  I never thought of her as someone who was attractive in any way.  But, I joined a Bible study with her and allowed myself to enter into those meaningful conversations.  The more she revealed her heart to me, the more outwardly beautiful she became in my eyes.  Her heart had this amazing fire for God.  The beauty she had inside, in her heart, is what made her beautiful on the outside!  To this day, she is one of the most beautiful women I know.  The best way to embrace your femininity in a Godly manner is to seek God with all your heart and let him make you beautiful!

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."  -Proverbs 31:30

What is My Role as Woman?

God was truly speaking to my heart this last weekend as I was still wondering what my role is as a woman.  I'm not just talking about a role of cooking, cleaning, and doing the laundry.  I am talking about my God-given role as a woman.  What role does God want me to take on in any kind of relationship with a man?  Well I think I finally found some answers!  On Sunday evening, I watched a video called "A Man and His Wife."  Now I am definitely far from being married, but it provided the answers I needed to this question about my role.  I have included a link to the site where this video is found.  Please check it out!  http://www.hcbc.com/men/journeymen-online-resources/

First, God created woman to be a helper!  Being a helper does not meant that we, as women, are worth any more or less than men.  We are equal with them, created to fulfill different roles and responsibilities in life.  Let me show you Genesis 2:18.  "The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”  Now keep in mind that this verse says it was not good for man to be alone.  This doesn't mean Adam was lonely; it means he needed someone to help him accomplish what the Lord God had planned.  What an honor to be created as a helper!

Next, it is vitally important for us to understand that part of a man's role is to lead: to lead us, to lead the church, and to lead others.  One thing I seriously misunderstood was what men's leadership really is.  Men's leadership is more about meeting the needs of a woman than anything else.  We must admit that, as women, we try to act like we don't need anything.  When asked, "What can I get for you?" we all typically reply with an "Oh nothing.  I am fine."  Stop pretending you don't need anything!  If you need something, be honest with the men in your life, and tell them.  If we refuse to tell them our needs, they will go through life believing that we just don't trust them with what we need.  Men need to know we trust them and respect them enough to be completely honest with our needs. 

Also, the men in our lives need to know that we admire them.  I was absolutely astounded to hear that most men do not need to hear "I love you" as often as we think they do.  They prefer to hear "I trust you because...," "I respect you because...," "I believe in you because...," and "I will follow you wherever you go."  We are here to help encourage them and be their cheerleaders, if you will.  No more nagging!  Words of encouragement will help them succeed far more than nagging ever will!  Maybe this sounds silly, but men really do need to know that we trust them, respect them, believe in them, and will follow their leadership abilities.  So make it a priority to change your "I love you's" into "I trust you's."

Finally, don't forget that you are held partially responsible for the faith of your partner.  Find ways to help him keep a Christ-centered focus.  Always be willing to talk with him about things God is telling you.  Involve him in your faith!  Encourage him daily in his faith.

This goes for any type of man and woman relationship: husband & wife, father & daughter, mother & son, and dating.  Yes mothers, your sons still need your respect! 

I know I learned SO much from all of these things!  I hope you do as well!  God bless!

Am I Beautiful?

Hello again!  This post is more directly for all the ladies out there, but men feel free to read it if you wish.  So I have been reading this book called The Resolution for Women.  I don't know if any of you have heard of it, but if you have, start reading it!  It is related back to the movie Courageous that came out last fall.  The Resolution for Women gives women some amazingly eye-opening resolutions to pursue.  As I started reading this book, I began to realize how many of the resolutions could definitely apply to my life.  The first resolution is all about being content, a topic we briefly discussed in a prevous post titled Do You Know the Secret?.  The second resolution topic is all about embracing femininity and womanhood.

As I began reading this section, several question were popping into my head.  I am sure all of you can relate.  Here they are:  Am I beautiful and captivating?  What is the role God designed for me as woman?  How do I embrace my feminity in a Godly manner?  Let's break these questions down into sections.  I will answer the first question today and the others in the next few blog posts.

Am I beautiful and captivating?  YES, you are!!!  Let me share something so awesome with you.  When God created Adam, he saw that Adam needed someone to help him, to come along side him and encourage him.  Then God created Eve.  Genesis 1:31 says, "God saw all that he had made, and it was very good."  The creation of Eve (a.k.a. woman) was not just good; it was very good!  Now don't get a big head, but woman was not created as an after-thought.  When you eat a dessert do you not save the best part for last?  Exactly!  The creation of Adam and Eve together was the last part...the best part!  His final and last delicate touch on creation, was woman!  You are amazing.  You are captivating.  You are beautiful!!!  You are feminine, soft, delicate but still intensely strong, loving, and caring.

If you still have uncertainties about whether or not you are beautiful, try reading Captivating by Stasi Eldrege.  It is an amazing book that will help you realize just how captivating you truly are, especially in the eyes of your father!  Stay tuned in to the answers of the next two questions!

I have also included a song that inspires me when I don't feel so beautiful.  I like to belt it out at the top of my lungs!  You should try it too!  ;)

What Am I Doing?

Today the same question has continuously been running through my head.  "What am I doing?"  Not what am I doing in the sense of confusion.  More like, "What am I doing for God's kingdom?"  Each day, I go to work (typically at three different jobs) then I take a jog.  After my jog, I like to sit down and relax before the day is over.  Where, in my daily tasks, am I making a difference for God's kingdom? 

Colossians 3:23 says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for man."  You see, doing our "everyday" tasks is great...as long as we are doing them for God and not just because we have to.  Lately, I have had the attitude of "Ok.  I will go to work today, but I'm not going to enjoy it."  God wants us to go to work, exercise, clean the house, and help others as though we are doing it for him.  We shouldn't be completing our daily tasks just because we have to, but because we desire to please our heavenly Father and make Him smile at us.  Our hearts should burn with a desire to please our God.  If they don't, it's time to jump deeper into the word and our prayer lives!  The challenge for all of us is this: Learn to enjoy every task (even the icky ones) because we know we are doing it for God's glory.

Here are some ways to improve our attitudes about our daily tasks:

1. Sing praises to God
2. Silently and continually pray
3. Memorize a scripture
4. Reflect on a devotional or passage from the Bible

I hope you enjoy the following song to go along with this message!

Learning to be Selfless

This weekend, I had the joy of being in a wedding.  So from Wednesday until Saturday I was doing my best to serve the bride in whatever ways necessary.  From running her errands to hand feeding her a donut while her nails were being done, I was learning to serve in a new way.  Galatians 5:13 says, "You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love."  This is how I was learning to serve, "humbly in love."  As a bridesmaid, I was asked to lay down my plans, thoughts, and ideas in order to serve and honor another.  Isn't that what God asks us to do?  God's Word also asks us to be eager to serve.  Our acts of service are so much more meaningful when we are doing them humbly, eagerly, and wholeheartedly.

Being selfless is not about serving alone.  It includes placing the needs of others before our own, thinking of others first, and daily denying ourselves so Christ and others may gain.  Matthew 16:24 gives evidence of this, "Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me."  Even though denying ourselves will be very difficult at times, it is necessary if we truly want to follow and serve.

I was also able to experience selflessness this weekend from the other end, the receiving end.  I must first admit that by the time the wedding rolled around on Saturday, I was more than ready for it to be over.  All four days that I spent working on this wedding, I never got be bed before midnight and was usually awake by 6:00am.  That's not very much sleep!  We were trying to pull all the little details together, and we were exhausted!  Then just before the wedding started on Saturday, I had a surprise visit from a very special guy in my life.  He had driven five hours just to see me in a wedding.  He was definitely a breath of fresh air after all the wedding planning I had been doing.  His total trip ended up being around 11 or 12 hours long (in only one weekend). 

While this story about selflessness is different from most, there is not a person in this world who can tell me that giving up a weekend to drive 12 hours is not selfless.  I was truly blessed by this genuine act.  When we are genuinely selfless with others, they are truly blessed as well.  Time is the most valuable thing we can give.  So, let's give it to our great God and to others.  

"He answered,  'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’ ; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'"  Luke 10:27

 

Do You Know the Secret?

"...I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation..."  Did you know there was a secret to being content in every single situation?  I did not know there was a secret, but Paul managed to find it.  This verse is taken from Philippians 4:12.  Let me remind you of Paul's circumstance while he was writing Philippians.  Paul was in Rome and under arrest.  Philippians is considered one of his "prison epistles."  But even though Paul was facing extreme persecution he was still able to write, "...I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation..."  

Let's put this portion of Philippians 4:12 into context.  "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength."  Philippians 4:11-13.  Can you imagine being completely content in Paul's situation?

Paul concluded his passage on being content with a verse many of you probably have memorized: "I can do all this through him who gives me strength," Philippians 4:13.  Paul knew he could be content in every situation because Christ was giving him the strength to do so.  So, what was Paul's secret?  Paul had resolved to find contentment in any and every situation.  He made a conscious decision to find his contentment in Christ.  Did I mention he was under persecution at the time he wrote this?!  If Paul can be content while under arrest, then why is it so difficult for us to be content in our "every day" circumstances? 

In order to find true contentment in Christ, we need to refocus our minds.  We need to think on Him and His works!  "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."  Notice, once again, that this verse comes from Philippians (chapter 4, verse 8) which means it was written by Paul while he was under arrest.  What a great example of how to remain content!

God gives us so much to be happy and excited about!  We need to slow down and just enjoy what is right in front of us.  We miss so many great blessings from God when we aren't content in any circumstance.  Let me share something with you that Stellar Kart shared with me: If you are never content, you will always be waiting!  Take the time to watch this video and read the lyrics!

Leaving Eden

Remember when you were growing up as a child?  Everything was so perfect, easy, and good.  Days were filled with friends, play, and napping.  I remember spending entire days just playing with my best friend in my backyard.  We imagined being in a jungle with lots of trees to swing from.  Or on rainy days, we would just stay inside and build forts or play with our dolls.  The worst part of the day as a child might have been breaking my favorite crayon or getting in trouble for feeding the dog under the table.  As children, we were protected from the dangers looming in our world.  Childhood was and is a paradise.  It's a dreamworld that most adults often refer back to as "the good ole days."  We sit and recollect our favorite childhood memories, family vacations, picnics at the park, and even Easter egg hunts. 

...But adults have to leave paradise at some point and enter the "real world."  The real world is not like childhood.  We are no longer sheltered from the evils that surround us.  Bad things happen in the real world.  Life gets tougher.  Worries crowd our good memories.  Busy schedules leave us longing for more...

But there is more.  When we leave our paradise of childhood and enter into the "real world" of being adults, God offers us a place of rest.  He offers to carry our worries, stresses and burdens.  "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."  Matthew 11:28 

Living in the "real world" does not have to be a burden.  Christ begs us to let Him handle our real world problems.  When we leave our paradise, we still have something to look forward to.  When we leave Eden and enter into a world of sin, God offers us a home in his arms.  Jump into His arms.

Are You Patient?

Patience is a good thing.  Yes, I said it.  Patience is a good thing.  I will be the first to admit that I sometimes struggle with being patient.  Being patient means I am waiting for something I want.  It is clear that patience has become rare in our society today.  Many people choose to eat at fast food establishments.  Why?  Because they do not want to wait very long for their food.  An "I want it now" attitude is being catered to by most businesses.  Think of shipping!  There is standard shipping (which is expensive) and then there is expedited shipping (which is even more expensive).  How many times do we bite the bullet and pay double the money just so a package will get here in 1-3 business days?  Why not order the package far enough ahead of time that you don't need expedited shipping?

Ok, ok.  I will stop ranting now and dig into the Bible to see what it says about patience.  So, as I typed the single word "patience" into Biblegateway.com, I learned that it can be found in the Bible 16 different times.  While this number may not seem substantial, patience is viewed as a very positive attribute.  "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."  This verse (found in Colossians 3:12) challenges us to possess patience as a quality.

2 Timothy 4:2 says, "Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction."  This verse tells us to act in great patience.  This shows that patience is an action, not just a quality or characteristic of a person.  Patience, much like love, is acted out and practiced everyday in multiple situations.  The more we practice patience, the easier it will become.  Now, I do not believe it is an accident that this verse says "great patience," emphasis on the great!  We should challenge ourselves to be extremely patient, especially in situations that are hardest for us personally. 

Hebrews 6:12 says, "We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised."  Being patient does NOT mean sitting around and doing nothing!  If you're searching for God's will, it means patiently worshipping God while you wait!  Serve others with during your time of waiting.  Do not grow lazy just because you are being patient.  I found the following quote online just this afternoon.  I don't know who said it, but it fits Hebrews 6:12 pretty well.  "Patience is waiting.  Not passively waiting.  That is laziness.  But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience."  I have also attached a song you should listen to!  It has a great message about what to do while you wait. 

Ok, now I will finally give you my closing thoughts.  Do you think Jesus had to have extreme patience, and still does?  I think so.  Sometimes we suffer in times of patience, but how much more has Jesus suffered?  He endured a time when people refused to accept him as the savior, knowing what would happen to them.  Don't you think he had to possess an extreme amount of patience when speaking with these people?

Why are we continually in a hurry for everything?  We do not need to rush dating, high school/college, buying a new car/house, getting married or having kids.  Let's slow down and smell the roses!  Let's let God work in His timing; it is so much better than ours!

Seek Me and Find Me

Summer has officially started for me.  I am definitely excited that summer has arrived.  But with it, have come several thought-provoking questions:  How am I going to spend my summer?  Will I glorify God?  Will I do His will?  Will I allow myself to seek Him in a deeper way?  Will I set aside time to be in solitude with my mighty God?

All these questions send my head into a whirl.  They make me realize that summer really is the best time to seek.  Homework and tests can no longer get in the way.  Seeking God should be the priority.  Getting a tan, spending days at the lake and hanging out with friends are all crazy fun parts of summer.  But, what could make a summer more meaningful than devoting more of my time to God?  NOTHING!

Jeremiah 29:13 says "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."  This verse is what summer should be all about.  While all this applies to the rest of the year as well (we should always be seeking God with all our hearts), summer leaves no room for excuses. 

My ultimate goal is to have a summer like no other, a summer that changes me forever, a summer where I give God no bounds...a summer that changes my faith, strengthens it!  Do you want this too?

• Pray continually
• Seek solitude
• Worship Him wholeheartedly
• Read His word
• Fellowship with others
• Love unconditionally
• Listen for His voice
• Discover His will
• Give Him no bounds

If we seek God with all our hearts, He promises we will find Him!